Ahh..... Yaoi Con! A celebration of male/male relationships - real and imagined - in anime, manga, and games. The vast majority of straight men avoid it like the plague, which is a pity, because it is overrun almost entirely by horny 18+ women. Some men have learned better, and still others volunteer themselves for a wide variety of gratuitous exploitation as they make out with each other onstage to attract (mostly) female attention.

Yes, Yaoi Con... a convention like no other. I had always been curious about it, but never actually made the decision to get off my ass and fly all the way to San Francisco... until now. Because now I had a mission! I would be Vergil, and I would find a Dante, and I would kiss him! Whether I could actually find a male Dante cosplayer in a sea of girls was another matter, but it really didn't make much of a difference to me. Dante is Dante is Dante.

First thing's first... the wig from March had to go. I bought another one that was actually spiky and slicked back-ish. Definitely a lot more Vergil-like, but alas it was also more blond than white. GRR! Also, it stuck up about an inch higher than I needed it to... so... Vergil got another haircut! >^.^< Afterwards, I packed my things and - Dante action figure in hand - flew to San Francisco for the convention.

...Day 1.5 (Friday)
I stayed in a hotel room with my friend Ashvolt, her mom, and their three ball-jointed dolls. The next day we all went to the Opening Ceremony of the convention. It seemed standard enough. That is, until they brought out a near life-size Devil May Cry 3 standup of Dante - signed by Reuben Langdon (Dante's voice actor) and Dan Southworth (Vergil's voice actor)... I would've taken a picture of it, but I had a hard enough time remembering to breathe. It took me quite a while to recover and stop blushing. O.o;; It was then announced that if you pre-register for Tales of Anime convention, your name will be put into a raffle to win the signed stand-up. Now, I've been tossing around the idea of going to Tales of Anime convention anyway because Reuben and Dan were going to be there, and this raffle pretty much sealed the deal for me.  

...Day 2.0 (Saturday)
Most of the key events (Anime Music Video Contest, Cosplay Show, Bishounen Auction) were taking place on Saturday, and it attracted the most people, so I decided to wear my Vergil costume that day. This made quite a number of girls very happy and I got some great hugs. Apparently, Itachis really like Vergil. Make of that what you will. It's always encouraging to hear that people like my costume considering how much work I put into it. I even got spirited away by a few photographers so I could pose and stuff. I was shocked that I was the only Vergil at Yaoi con.

When I finally made it to the Dealers Room, I was immediately assaulted by people peddling Devil May Cry merchandise - not that I'm complaining! *___* But, dressed as Vergil that I was, everyone was throwing Vergil stuff in my face, and I was like, "No, no, no! I like Dante more!! That's why I'm dressed as Vergil! To look for a Dante. ^_^;;" Makes perfect sense to me... >_> One girl told me she actually saw a guy dressed as Dante, but he was the only Dante here. So I grinned and told her, "well then, it must be fate."

I spent an ungodly amount of money on many gorgeous, overpriced things. I never buy art prints, but Angel's art was so breathtaking it melted any vestiges of common sense I had left and I blew over $100 on it. At one point, as I was digging through some artwork, Ashvolt told me that she saw Dante. He was passing behind me. I froze and refused to turn around, even told her that I am consciously refusing to turn around. My reactions to seeing Dantes have amplified since Anime Detour and I just was not ready for him right then. I wanted to escape into a word of pretty pictures and not think about my mission to kiss a real life stranger. After the threat was gone, I asked her if he had the white hair. She said he didn't. Hmm. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't even consider kissing a Dante who didn't have the white hair. But... since he was the only Dante here... I guess I had no choice.

I pre-registered for Tales of Anime, and posed by the lovely, sizzling, drool-worthy Devil May Cry 3 stand-up.

My next stop was the What A Gamer Girl Wants panel, where we got to discuss what yaoi fangirls want out of a video game. Lets see... hot guys, sexy clothing, good voice actors, multi-purpose weapons, suggestive dialogue, tragic pasts, lots of action, male characters obsessed with each other, female characters that don't end up with the hero. Gee, I think I already have this game, and it's called Devil May Cry. NEXT!

On to the AMV Contest. Or, rather, the line for the AMV Contest. As we stood waiting to get into the auditorium, that same Dante (now dressed as another character) came over to me and said, "That's a great Vergil costume! You'll see me as Dante later," to which I smiled and replied, "I look forward to that!"

We were all given a ballot with a list of videos from four categories. Then the lights went dark and the show began, and there I was, trying to remember what the four categories were. You got Drama, Action, Comedy, and... uhh... what else is there? Horror?? Lights back on. Oh, Romance! Duh, this is Yaoi con. Shows you how my mind works. Anyway, there was one video that stood out from the rest. A music video with footage from the movie Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children and the game Dirge of Cerberus blended together, called Nine Spiral. Truly the best action video I have ever seen and perhaps the only sense of orgasmic bliss I could have outside of Dante, my own world, and maybe Wolverine's claws.

After that was the Cosplay show. It was a lot of fun. There was even a guy dressed as Kratos from God of War calling his act "Ghost of Sparda" for some reason. Maybe because "sparda" means sword? But that's in Spanish and Kratos is Greek... and doesn't use swords. *scratches head* Well, whatever.

...Day 2.5: The Bishounen Auction
At most conventions, the Cosplay show is the highlight of the weekend, but at Yaoi con, this honor goes to the Bishounen Auction. The Bishounen Auction is where the afore-mentioned male volunteers strut their stuff onstage for people to bid on. To entice higher bids, they will strip - often down to their underwear - and/or engage in racy antics with other guys. The highest bidder gets the guy for the duration of the Dance that follows the auction, and the proceeds go to charity.

Now, I have heard stories of a particular Dante skit a few years back. There are three Devil May Cry games to date, and with each game, Dante's outfits get skimpier. So this guy dressed in Dante's costumes from Devil May Cry 1, 2, and 3, all on top of each other. When he was performing on stage, he would dance around as DMC1 Dante, strip that layer off and dance around as DMC2 Dante, strip that layer off and dance around as DMC3 Dante. Wow! I am not ashamed to admit that the thought of such a DMC striptease has dominated my Dante fantasies ever since.

So there we were, in line for the Bishounen Auction. The line was three floors long and we were waaay in the back. Indeed, there were considerable doubts of us even getting in. Ashvolt and her mother were already talking about how fun the Cosplay show was, how the Cosplay show was their favorite part of the convention anyway, that at least we got to see the Cosplay show, etc, etc. I stared at them on the verge of panic. I have a pretty one track mind and I came here for one thing: to see Dante strip. And one way or another, I WOULD SEE DANTE STRIP!!

It was about this time that guy (now dressed as DMC3 Dante, still no white wig) passed by our line along with the other guys up for auction. He waved at me. I waved back. I turned to Ashvolt giddily and squealed, "Dante waved at me!!" She then took it upon herself to inform me that he was pretty much Yaoi con's official Dante, that he was Dante every year, and that he was the one who did that famous striptease a few years back. Holee Shiiiat!! White wig or not, this man now had my wholehearted respect. Hell, kissing him would be an honor!

The line started to move. They had to bring in some extra chairs, and some people had to stand along the walls, but miraculously everybody got into the auditorium. The guys took turns getting up on stage, stripping, dancing, and doing whatever they had to do to get bids. Those in the audience who didn't bid could still come up on stage and show their appreciation by tipping the guys with money. Some even got kissed for their efforts.

As I watched the guys come and go, and waves of dollar wielding fangirls cram more money down their pants, my predicament slowly dawned upon me. This was Yaoi con. Dante and Vergil are a very popular yaoi pairing. I was the only Vergil at Yaoi con, and the only Dante at Yaoi con was coming onstage very soon. If I did not make some kind of move on him, it would be downright embarrassing. For the sake of fan service, I had to go up there. I reached for a loose dollar in my pocket and crumpled it inside my fist. My other hand shakily went for my bottle of water, which I would be gulping down compulsively for the next few minutes. Yes, had to go up there! Nay, morally obligated to go up there!

Soon it was Dante's turn. I could barely concentrate on his little show and tell skit (sadly, not a striptease), and trying to take a picture of him from that far away in terribly dim lighting was like trying to catch Sasquatch.

My teeth were chattering and I was crushing the money in hand into an even tighter fist. I was at the very back of the room and it felt like a long way to the stage. If you don't have the guts to go up there and give Dante a dollar, you do not deserve to be Vergil, I kept telling myself. I waited and waited for the tipping to begin. I did not want to be the first one up there. It felt like forever and I was afraid that the auction might be over before I had a chance to do anything. Maybe I should just go up there on my own... No, no... Yes!! Finally somebody up there! I can make my move!

I handed my camera to Ashvolt's mom and asked that she try to take a picture of me onstage, then I stood up.

Ok! You're up!

I started walking towards the stage.

Keep walking... keep walking... keep walking... just KEEP WALKING... you'll look ridiculous if you back down now! Don't think, just get up there!!

I was onstage now, but I was behind them, and they were facing the audience.

Ok, now what?!

The hand with the money sprung up of its own accord and brought the dollar to Dante's eye level. He turned to me.

I smiled and said, "Here."

He took one look at the dollar, then spread his arms and presented his pants.

Now, I had never put money down a strange guy's pants before, and frankly never imagined myself in a situation where I would have to do that. But this was Dante, and I was Vergil, and that dollar had to go somewhere! Well, if you insist... I thought to myself, and stuffed it into his belt.

Ashvolt's mom got the money shot (pun intended) on camera. Dante looks rather pleased with the whole situation.

Alright, that was out of the way! But giving him a dollar was only my excuse to come onstage. My real motivation was to actually kiss him. I was pretty blunt about it. Just straight up asked him, "can I kiss you?" It was a rather clumsy kiss, and kind of slid into more of a hug (and I'm kind of still beating myself up over that) BUT DAMNIT I DID KISS HIM, ONSTAGE, WITH ALL OF YAOI CON WATCHING and it felt GREAT!! BWAHAHAHAHAA!!!

I skipped off stage and gulped down some more water, grinning inanely. The euphoria of the adrenaline rush from the whole episode stuck around for several minutes. *_* I got what I came here for and more! Kissed the amazing stripping Dante, onstage, in front of Yaoi con!! XD My only regret was that we couldn't get a shot of the actual kiss. Then again, I already had a picture of me kissing Dante, but I didn't have a picture of me stuffing money down Dante's pants... and now I do!!

But wow... My first convention I got to kiss Dante in a secluded hallway, my second convention I got to kiss Dante onstage... in order to outdo that at my third convention, I'd have to kiss none other than Reuben Langdon himself... O.o;; Now there's a thought.

...Day 3.0 (Sunday)
Did some more shopping. Ok, a lot more shopping. I wore my Devil May Cry 3 T-shirt and took along my Dante action figure. I was pleasantly surprised by how much attention the action figure alone attracted. I think my Dante figure got more hugs than I did as Vergil. o.o Saw two people dressed up as Dante and Vergil... Aligheri. Yes, the medieval Italian Dante of Dante's Inferno upon which the names and some of the mythology of Devil May Cry were based. Very clever idea, but also very frustrating. People would be like "hey look! it's Dante and Vergil!" and others would be like "WHERE?!?.... oh."

I went to the Closing Ceremonies to see if I won the raffle for the Devil May Cry 3 stand-up. I prayed and begged the powers that be for that stand-up. I had a very good chance of winning it, too, because very few people pre-registered. But still, I didn't. In fact, it was unclear who actually did win. This pissed me off and traumatized me more than I had anticipated. I stayed in my seat for 5 minutes, dazed. I stood up, went to the back of the room, and stood there staring at the stand-up for another 5 minutes. Then I left. And, y'know, I cried a little inside, but I told myself that when I go to Tales of Anime, I'll just have Reuben sign things in person - with my name on it. ^_^

In the evening, Ashvolt and I decided to lay out all the things we bought on the trip so we could better assess the monetary damages. It was quite a sight. My half of the bed is everything I got, and the black blob's half of the bed is everything Ashvolt got.

I got paid on Friday, and by Monday it was all gone. ^_^;; BUT IT WAS WORTH IT!! So, so worth it.

DISCLAIMER: if anybody involved doesn't want the pics or the entry up here, please contact me and I will take it down!!

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