I hate this movie! I've hated it since the day it came out! It has the pacing of a snail crawling up a wall of slime. Still, I was suckered into watching it again by promises of Dan in feathers and a loincloth. ~_~; Apparently, Dan plays a Native and Reuben plays a Colonist... and they fight each other!! Pretty awesome, right? WRONG!!

Now, I knew that if they were both credited solely for "stunts," they probably wouldn't be around all that much. Still, I kinda hoped I'd catch them walking around as a generic extra from time to time. Watching the movie became a twisted game of "Where's Waldo?"... except it was more like "Where's Dan?" and... err, "Where's Reuben??" Seriously, where the @#$% were they?!? .....Dan?? .......Reuben?? Helloooo...

I barely got anything out of this. I even considered scrapping this entry but, if only to salvage the remnants of my sanity, it must exist.

So we open with the Colonial ships coming in and the Natives looking on curiously. Aha! Is that Dan in the back with the mohawk??

Faaast forward through about an hour of nothing happening and we finally get a fight scene! Alriiight... now it turns into an almost fairytale challenge. There's thirty plus people running around and all I know is that Reuben is supposed to be the only one without a hat on. Well, he wasn't the only one, and that didn't make it any easier. Meanwhile I'm also looking for Dan, and despite the many Natives onscreen, I had no luck spotting him. But - oh, look at that! REUBEN!!

There is eventually a short break in the battle where everyone stops to scream at each other. In the background to the right of Colin Farrell is Reuben... still in pain.

Battle resumes and moves into the town. Enter Reuben in the midst of a muddy street!!

Anyway, that's the last I saw of either of them. *sigh*

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